You may or may not have tried to get your ex back. But now, you have now decided that relationship is over and it is time to move on.
Surviving breakups means dealing with the many memories that made your relationship what it was. It’s something that you have to go through before you can really go on with your life as a now-single person. If you’re like most people, however, your breakup survival skills must be fuzzy at best. You might be thinking of how hard it is to get through this alone. Fret not, help is here. In this article you will learn the two steps to surviving breakups.
You need help surviving a breakup. Get There is Life After…
You might have heard from your friends that there are several stages you must go through before you get over something (or someone) completely. These are: denial, anger, bitterness and acceptance. While accurate, these stages are not at all delineated. Here’s an example: a man might feel bitterness at one point while still in the denial phase; or he might still be angry while in the acceptance phase.
To avoid confusion, let’s categorize the ‘stages; of surviving breakups into two: introspection (“me” phase) and constructive reflection (“us” phase). Let’s start with the introspection stage.
Cleansing Your Emotions by Not Doing Anything to Get Your Ex Back
Your relationship may have started great, but then turned toxic. Your ex’s jealousy (or yours), money problems, issues with cheating, and even your living conditions might have contributed to the degeneration of your relationship until not a single constructive or pure thing exists between you and your ex.
Now, what do you do when something is toxic? You clean it or you throw it away.
Before anyone can start surviving breakups, they must fix their emotions and remove the toxic material from their psyche. After all, you cannot tackle any problem without a clear head right? Your failed relationship might have drained you and left you feeling like you’re not whole anymore, but the reality is that the whole thing can still be summed up in one word… problem.
You can cleanse your emotions by first staying completely still. This means you must no longer contact your ex, and you must not wring the phone in your hands intending to pour your emotions to someone – anyone – who will listen. This is probably the only time when inactivity becomes a good thing. By keeping yourself from ‘doing something’ to save your relationship, you force yourself to face the naked truth… you’re single again. Others are surviving breakups - so can you.
You see, your first instinct when you feel pain is to act on your emotions. Somehow, if you keep moving, you’re only putting pressure on yourself. You keep thinking you want your ex back and if you don’t get your former lover back fast, it might be too late. However, here’s a reality check for you: chasing after your ex or pretending to be over them by doing ‘wild’ things like find another lover fast, will only cause more mistakes. If you’re not cleansed emotionally, everything you do while you’re still in pain will end up being a mistake.
Take Time Off
Introspection means being alone with your thoughts. This is the first thing you have to do if your objective is to keep surviving a break up until you’re ready to face your friends, family members and even your ex again. If you cannot physically separate yourself from your daily chores, you can still take an emotional vacation by asking everyone around you to quit asking you about your break up before you’re ready to open up about it. If your friends really understand you, they will keep their distance until you’re ready to talk.
This is page 1 (Surviving Breakups). Go to page 2 of How to Survive Break Up